Both men and women have endured negative experiences from past relationships that have caused pain, hurt and scars. Horrible things from childhood can also cause pain in adulthood. This history from the past is called Emotional Baggage and can sabotage future relationships, causing a person not to love, trust, or be loved. We must start recognizing patterns of behavior in us that causes our relationships to deteriorate. The way in which the situation is dealt with and the things that are said and done while dealing with an issue determines if it’s the baggage dictating the situation or not.
What suggestions can you give to help someone (or yourself) get through the pain and hurt of their past so they can move forward towards developing healthy relationships?
For many of us the emotional baggage equates to not only to our past but how we perceive ourself for the future. As a man thinketh in his heart so is he. It's not the past but rather pressing towards the mark of the higher calling. When one has a preconceived destination, the past negates itself lending freedom to move forward. Basiocally forget the past and see yourself in the future. Bishop Paul Morton penned some wonderful words to a song.... I see you in the future and you look better, I see you walking in favor and prosperity too, let me encourage you, let me speak life to you.... See yourself in the future, you won't have time to look back.
ReplyDeleteMake a decision! I have come to a place in my mind and heart where I am deciding to let things go. I used to think I would never heal from certain things that happened in my life, but I had a boyfriend who taught me a lesson that I will never forget. He taught me that life is a series of decisions. I didn't realize that I could decide how I wanted to feel until he pointed it out to me. I understand pain hurts...that's what it is supposed to do. But the wonderful thing about emotional pain is, you get to decide how bad it hurts at any given moment. Emotions don't have to become baggage and past hurts don't have to dictate your life. All you have to do is...make a decision!
ReplyDeleteLet it go! Everyone is not the same. Life is about chances and changes. Pray about it and keep moving. Eventually, you will be blessed with someone that really loves and cares about you.
ReplyDeleteOne of the most painful thoughts is that age—time—never go back. Sometimes the pain makes you feel you will never get another chance to really feel loved. Sure—you must love yourself.
ReplyDeleteSometimes you just need to be held. Or a friendly conversation can be priceless. Thank GOD for bringing us through the tuff times.
GM MS. GREATNESS.. VERY TRUE AND POWERFUL WORDS.. YOU ARE A TRUE BLESSING.. GOD HAS REALLY SMILED ON YOU.. KEEP LETTING GOD USE YOU..
ReplyDeleteMia, I agree totally we tend to carry that baggage around with us, not letting go of the old and embracing the new without those deteriorating things that just fester in us not letting us live to our true potential. We should just let it go....you continue with your beautiful words to live by.
ReplyDeleteFOOD FOR THOUGHT......ENCOURAGING.....THANK U MA'AM........
ReplyDeleteWhen it comes to Emotional Baggage, take a self-assessment about the relationship as a whole. Identify aspects of the relationship that were good(healthy) and destructive (not good/healthy). Evaluate your contributions to perpetuating the cycle. Ponder the question: Did I recognize trouble when it first surfaced? Or did I come with an excuse not to deal with the small tear in what i wanted? After self-reflecting own your part, work on becoming the whole person you are to be. After all, each person is responsible for their own happiness.
ReplyDeleteEmotional Baggage is a topic that I've experienced all too well. It truly was impressed upon my heart to share my thoughts if it could help another person and as affirmation for myself. I believe most often in society attention is placed upon the visible wounds which are obvious for all to see. What most people fail to recognize is that so many more people are suffering with internal, life-long emotional issues that manifest themselves in other things. Some people turn to alcohol, drugs, relationships (men and women alike), shopping, or develop various disorders unknowingly as coping mechanisms.
ReplyDeleteThe popular Charles Swindoll quote says, "I am convinced life is 10% of what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it." If the healing process is to ever begin one has to first realize that a problem exists in how he or she reacts to situations and examine personal thoughts and feelings about the issue at hand. Everyone experiences emotions, while some are more intense than others, it does not negate value of either one.
I live daily in a cognizant mind frame of my emotional state as a means to self-correct in potentially mood altering situations. When I realize my thoughts are counter productive, I excuse myself from the person or circumstance and go into isolation for prayer seeking strength from my Heavenly Father in that very moment. If I'm able to, I return back to the person or place and let the Holy Spirit guide me. If not, then I give thanks anyway for overcoming that trial. In situations where I was a part of the problem instead of the solution, I ask for forgiveness and move on. With each new day an opportunity presents itself for me to conquer my emotional baggage. By placing one foot in front of the other I'm not exactly where I desire to be but I'm surely not where I used to be either. Through constant prayer I seek God's face and help in overcoming past hurts and lean on the scriptures that speak to my particular situation.
To any one out there who may be experiencing pain as a result of emotional baggage, please allow healing to take place one day at a time. There very well could have been one day with a tragic event or a series of events that led you to where you are, but I became less discouraged when I focused on the present day.
Have faith; Pray your way through the pain; Read the Word and other scripture based materials for spiritual sustenance and encouragement; Allow only positive messages, music, and people to permeate each day; Don't be afraid to share a testimony or help someone else along the way who may be experiencing similar setback; Have compassion for others because we all are either overcoming, entering, or in the midst of a storm.
"And so it is with you...we are in charge of our attitudes." It's up to us so let's make it a great day.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete